Cockroach Cooties
by OneCutePug
Summary: Psst... Wanna know a secret? Raph's got cockroach cooties!


**Another old story. Hope these make up for my absence. Sorry for OOCness. Leave a review, and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I had a dream... I had a dream... I wish one day I would own the TMNTTTTTTTT! **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**_Cockroach Cooties_**

* * *

All was peaceful in the Hamato lairhold. Leonardo was meditating, Donatello was in his lab, Michelangelo was playing video games, and Raphael was frantically trying to wash off cockroach cooties.

"Gotten all the cockroach germs off yet, Raphie?" Mikey teased, flicking his gaze at the bathroom door.

A howl of rage answered back, "Mikey! If you EVER slip a cockroach in my shell again, I'll grind yours up and eat it!" He banged on the bathroom wall for emphasis.

"That would be called cannibalism, Raph!" Donnie meandered out of his lab and banged on the bathroom door. "Raph, hurry up! I need to wash all these chemicals off of my hands!" He hit the door again with his shell.

"NO!" Raph roared. "Not 'till I'm clean!" Donnie rolled his eyes.

"SPIKE!" Donnie yelled out teasingly. "Let me pet you with my slimy, nasty hands because Raph wouldn't let me wash them!" Don made sure to make his voice overly dramatic. The orange and purple clad turtles could hear the shower turn off instantly, and a lot of hustling, bustling, and bumping around inside the bathroom.

"No, no, NO! Don't you DARE, Donatello!" Raph kicked open the door. He was still dripping wet, and he had his red bandana flung on haphazardly. A towel was thrown carelessly around his shoulders.

"Relax, Meathead. I'm not going to touch your pet!" Donnie sidestepped Raph and walked to the sink. "I'm smart enough to know not to do that!" Mikey froze, hands outstretched over Spike. Raph turned his angry glare towards him, and Mikey gulped and slowly sat back down on the couch. Raph clenched his fists and raced towards him.

Leo walked into the living room and his jaw dropped open. "Hey, do you guys want to- WOAH!"

Raph and Mikey both looked up with 'deer in headlights' expressions. "Uh, this isn't what it looks like!" Raph stammered out.

Leo gulped. "Uh, then what exactly is it?" Raph was straddling Mikey's plastron with each of his sai pinning down his hands. Raph was gripping the orange clad turtle's sides, and Mikey was squirming to get free.

"We were just… wrestling?" Mikey volunteered, a hopeful smile on his face. Raph face-palmed, and Leo grew even paler, his skin light, light green.

"Well, uh, I was going to see if you guys wanted to go on a training run, but obviously, uh, you two are, um, busy." His face was beet red. "Is it hot in here? Or is it just me?" He quickly used his hands to fan his face. "I'll, um, just go find Donnie." He turned to go.

"I wanna go!" Raph hopped up, and Mikey sat up as well.

"I'm in," Donnie called out from the other room. "I'm almost done!"

"Let's go!" Mikey chirped, but Leo pushed him over to the couch.

"No, Mikey," he said. "I need to talk to Raph about… things." He glared at Raph, who immediately returned the favor. Donnie's face was bewildered.

"Uh, what exactly is going on?" Donnie questioned nervously. Leo held up a finger to silence him.

"It's just me, Raph, and Donnie. You're staying here!"

"Just fill me in later, Leo." Donnie grabbed his Bo staff. "Mikey, stay out of my lab!" He ordered.

"Is there anything even good in there?" Mikey whined.

"Of course there is!" Donnie retorted. "I just finished a replicator ray!" He boasted with pride, missing the light bulb over Mikey's head. "You better leave it alone!" He snarled as he walked out.

Raph winked at Mikey. "Go mess with it!" Leo head slapped him with a pointed expression and dragged him out. Mikey was left alone at last.

"Yes!" Mikey fist-pumped the air. Grabbing his newly fixed t-pod, he plopped his headphones in and began dancing like crazy. He nodded and bobbed his head to the beat, and kicked his feet all around.

Splinter was on his way to the kitchen to fix himself a nice, hot cup of tea. He padded into the living room and skidded to a stop. "Michelangelo? What exactly are you doing?"

Mikey didn't even open his eyes to respond. "I'm DANCING!" He sang, whipping his bandana tails.

Splinter looked at his youngest like the turtle was insane. "I will just leave you to it." He edged out the way he came. _I guess I will just get my cup of tea later. It can wait, _he thought as he headed back to his room.

Mikey's movements slowed, and he bent over, heaving and panting from his dance-workout. Something tickled his foot, and he looked to see a cockroach scrambling around. "Aww!" He cooed as he gently picked it up. A light bulb flashed on in his head, and he grinned deviously. He knew EXACTLY what he was going to do.

2 Hours Later

Raphael was incredibly ticked off. First off, Lame-nardo lectured him the entire patrol, and it didn't help that Donnie just laughed the entire time! And they didn't even see any Purple Dragons or Foot Clan ninjas to beat up! He stomped into the lair. Leo and Donnie padded in calmly behind him. Raph fell down on the couch beside his littlest brother playing video games.

"Hey! Nooo! You just ruined my score!" Mikey wailed as Raph upheaved the couch cushions. Raph rolled his eyes.

Leo shoved both of them aside as he sat in the middle, shooting another glare at Raph. "MAKE ROOM FOR JESUS!" Leo screamed out as he settled in between his siblings. Donnie sat on the armrest, smirking knowingly at Raph who growled in return.

"Leo! Stop it!" He hissed as Leo pushed him farther away from Mikey.

"Now, Raph, remember what I told you on the run," Leo lectured. "If you EVER have that urge to-"

"UGHH!" Raph yelled. "That's it!" He stood up and stalked off towards his bedroom, only pausing a moment to gently pick up Spike.

"What are you doing?" Donnie quizzed.

"Going to bed," Raph growled. "If I have to be by you guys another second I'm gonna go insane!"

"You already are, Raphie-boy.." Mikey muttered, and Leo splashed a horrified look on his face.

"Good idea, Raph. Night, guys!" Leo stood up and stretched, heading after Raph for his bedroom. When Raph flung open the door to his bedroom, Leo was still a good ways behind; all Leo heard was the ear-shattering squeal.

Leo burst into a run for the last few steps to get to his brother. Raph had scampered back and now was pressed up against the wall.

"Raph? What's wrong?!" Leo was frantic to find the reason behind Raph's scream. The red clad turtle was gagging in disgust and staring unseeingly at his bedroom door.

Leo unsheathed his katanas and carefully opened the door. Leo gasped, and Raph heaved again. Leo sheathed his swords as Raph slid down the wall to put his head in between his knees. Leo sank down next to him and patted him awkwardly on the shell.

"Er, Raph? You okay there, bro?"

"There are so many!" Raph gasped out, his breath still labored and quick. Donnie and Mikey scampered down the hall, their faces laced with concern and weapons drawn.

"What? What's wrong?" Donnie was frantic, and it only increased when he saw his older brother having a mental breakdown. Mikey's face changed from playful to dead serious in a heartbeat.

Leo was giving the youngest turtles his seldom seen death glare, yet he was still cradling Raph, who was trying his best to elbow his over-caring older brother off of him. "Why the HECK would you do something like that? That's too far!" Leo chewed them out, a vein in his forehead pulsated with every word. Raph gave a sharp jab at Leo's plastron, but the blue clad turtle didn't even bat an eye. "He's still far too precious for this world!" **(Yes, Supernatural reference. Sue me.) **

Donnie was dumbstruck. "I don't understand; what happened?" He took in Leo's sheathed katanas and put his Bo up.

"See for yourself!" Leo snarled, gesturing to the door. Donnie cracked it open and stuck his head inside.

Cockroaches. Thousands of cockroaches were swarming all over every inch of Raph's room. Not one spot was left untouched.

Donnie shuddered and slammed the door shut. "What the heck?" He yelled. "Who would do that?"

Immediately Leo's icy blue stare was upon Mikey. "MIKEY!"

Donnie gaped at Mikey in shock. "Where did you get all of those cockroaches?" Understanding lit up his face, then anger. "MIKEY! YOU USED MY REPLICATOR RAY! YOU WERE IN MY LAB!" He roared. Instantly, both Donnie and Leo were glaring daggers at poor Michelangelo.

"Why the heck would you do that?"

"Shell brain! You didn't think of the outcomes, did you? Look at Raph! He's freaking out because of you!"

"No, I'm not!" Everyone turned around to see Raph breaking free of Leo's clutch and kicking his arms away. He shuddered once after glancing at his room. "But one shell-for-brains turtle will be once I get my hands on him!" He lunged at Mikey.

"Raph! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" Mikey wailed as Raph began chasing him all around the lair.

Donnie glanced at Leo and smirked. "I think he'll be okay!"

* * *

**Y'all I think I actually used half of this story in Super Hot Head Problems... I assure you if I did and you recognized it from somewhere, yes, it is mine, and no one else's. XD Leave a review!**


End file.
